Racing mind

I just sat up from a prone position in bed. When I got into bed and under the covers, I was so tired I thought for sure I’d be asleep in my usual pattern of under ten minutes. Nope.

My brain must have a secret stash of cocaine somewhere because my mind just started doing its impression of The Daytona 500 race, which, unfortunately, happens around my birthday each year-around February 19th. Oh yay, I loathe auto racing.

It’s one long ramble. Images just appearing and morphing into new images like a dream. Thoughts doing the same. I was never considered to be a candidate for Attention Deficit Disorder. Mostly my mind doesn’t race like this. Seems to happen when I feel especially stressed and pressured…..

The thoughts went like this: I really need that 500 dollars to renew my tag. Where is my renewal forms? usually get them a month or two before my birthday. I bet they went to the tow company …I need to go talk to them and see if I can get the fee reduced…Gawd, I’d love to win the Cash 4 Life grand prize that’s $755 dollars a day, after taxes but that would increase my tax rate to about 32% they take 24% off the top I’d set aside another savings account just for additional taxes—take an additional 10% each week and stick it in there. I wonder what’s going on with my plants. Pat suggested it could be a squirrel that tore that rose plant out of its pot. Coffee grounds in dirt and on top supposedly be a squirrel repellent the dig out part was as big as a human hand I got some weird stuff going on someone is pissed at me. Plant pranks for last couple of weeks. Squirrels don’t move pots multiple levels or feet they don’t drop pots and break them feet away from where they were. Is my stalker back? Nineteen years, really? I want to earn my living built around something I want to do for a living something artistic crafty. Candles. Thrifting and reselling I love thrift stores. Always joke that when I win Powerball I’ll still continue to shop in thrift stores. Need new glasses. Need new money for new glasses. How many months of car payment money do I have left? It’d be more if I hadn’t had to dip into it to pay rent, electricity, auto insurance. Yeah, auto insurance…Progressive sucks. Got to shop around. I’d have my money if my job gave me good hours EACH week this isn’t working. Got to get in to see the ear, nose and throat doc. My head is throbbing. Rent increases $100 on March 1st. This dump isn’t worth half of what we pay now. I don’t want to go to work terrified I’m gonna oversleep and yet I kinda don’t care. My hours are inadequate. They are not meeting my budgetary needs. It sounds counter intuitive, but makes me like my job less. The less I work, the less I like my job. Trying to visualize the routine, dull parts of the new home I want—like putting away the ton of food and stuff I could now afford to buy at Sprouts—after an influx of cash. God, it’s after 3 am. Gotta try and relax. Gotta settle my mind. I did breathing exercises before I gave up and started writing this. Only worked a little.

….I have to try and sleep…

$$$$$$$$ oh, hey, I thought it was $479 dollars. I won the tow yard lottery. It’s only $431. This is the bill scaring me the most. No auto taggy; no vehicle to get to workie.

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