I’m having one of those bedtime experiences that are so annoying.

I was exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open. I decided I didn’t need to read to unwind.

Wrong

As soon as my CPAP-masked head hit my pillow, my brain popped into action. I tried breathing slowly in and out. In and out. It didn’t work. I started visualizing what I want my life to look like. I pictured myself signing the lease to my new home, a house. That just really snapped me more awake. Then I realized I wanted popcorn.

I went downstairs and tossed a bag of microwaveable popcorn into the nuker. When it was done I trotted upstairs.

Here I sit in the edge of my bed typing into my phone next to my almost empty bowl of popcorn. I just finished the popcorn as I wrote that sentence.It’s 3:30 am. Now my sleep schedule is screwed again.

Last night I tried to fix it. I crawled into bed and turned off my light at 11:22 pm. It backfired. I kept waking up all night and slept like crap.

I forced my exhausted self out of bed at 8:40 am, but sat up in bed and read the news. I thought, oh ok, good. I’ll be exhausted and get to bed by 11 pm.

Nope.

So, I put a load of dirty sheets into the washer. With three of us in this apartment. We have to take advantage of idle machines when we can. That just really woke me up. It was the turning point in my loosely constructed time management plan.

I hate being awake at this time. New sleep data is indicating that the, “sweet spot, “ for getting to sleep is between 10-11 pm. That’s what I am aiming for. Maybe I just stressed myself out over being up so late.

A dreidel. That what my mind felt like- a dreidel. It’s a fitting metaphor for my spinning mind. A four-sided wooden top with little stick-like handle protruding out of the flat top. Each side sports a Hebrew letter that gives instructions to the player when it lands, Hebrew letter facing up. Dreidel is a game usually played around Hanukkah.

Fitting because I don’t know Hebrew and my timing has really suffered a lot lately.

Oh well, I might attempt to read four or five pages of the Michael Connelly novel I got from the library.

Maybe not. I think I can sleep, finally.