I got all comfy in bed. I had my fan blowing on me. My lower back was coated in Biofreeze. I had on my CPAP mask, like a good little sleep apnea-afflicted person.

Then, crap. My nose tickled. Fuck, a sneeze building. Sneezing in a CPAP machine mask is so gross, especially the kind that cover both nose and mouth-those are full masks.

It might sound counterintuitive, but the ones that covered just my nose felt more claustrophobic. During my CPAP machine sleep study, when the tech gave me half mask for just my nose, I ripped it off in about 2 milliseconds. It seemed weird that the smaller mask made my face feel more claustrophobic. She told me it wasn’t uncommon for people to prefer the whole masks. I was certainly in that camp.

So, there I was with my budding sneeze. I sat up and yanked my mask off and no GD sneeze happened. Damnit, now I was awake and I had to pee. That would make me more awake.

I want the f**king chip with the remote control. I don’t care if it makes me radioactive (good song by The Firm, from the 80’s. Page, post-Zeppelin, and holy crap, Paul Rodgers is a great singer).

Yep, I was awake. I made about four Facebook posts-more cha-ching for the Zuck. If I were a bonafide techie, I’d be working on a FB replacement, something to give Zuck a run for his (too much) money.

I mostly posted songs on FB: three by The Who and one by Emerson, Lake & Palmer. Now, I’m here bugging you guys.

I think the methocarbamol-hydrocodone/acetaminophen cocktail is working. I’m feeling slightly stoned.

I hope I get the mask on and remain sneeze-free.

Of course, now my stomach is growling.

I can’t win.