I changed the names of my co-workers.

I had to call out of work today. My back has been really sore for the past few weeks. It’s been affecting my sleep and I am thoroughly exhausted all the time.

It seems to be the body part where I send most of my stress. Whenever I get overloaded with issues it’s my lower back that feels it the most.

When I awoke late-because I was so tired I turned off EIGHT alarms without being aware of it-I couldn’t even go from sitting on my bed to standing.

I thought, even though it was way worse than on other days, maybe I could make it into work late. I’d finally woken up at the time I was due to start my shift. Then I realized I was the poster child for feeling like death warmed over. So, I decided to call out and do some stretching to try and loosen the muscles.

Walmart has a phone line we call to report in late or absent for that day or the following one or both. We call, tap in our WIN’s (Walmart Identification Number) and birthdates and the computer matches the information to our store. Then the happy (read: annoying) computer voice repeats the input and we hit 1 for correct or 2 for let me try that again.

I tried. I really tried. I called that damn number twelve times before getting a text from my CSM, Brenda, asking if I was coming in. I was due in at 9:30. It was around 10:30 when I got her text. I texted back with what was happening. She told me to call the front end manager, Lynda.

I did and I had to let the phone ring about a hundred times. I finally got a connection to the fitting room employee (fitting room is usually in charge of answering calls coming into the store). I told her I needed to speak with Lynda. The phone rang a few times and I got disconnected. Great. Technology strikes again.

I returned to trying to call out and get my confirmation number. I had no luck there. I tried to reach Lynda again and was successful but, I had to wait through about a hundred rings again.

I felt horrible calling out cause Sundays are very busy and Florida is having a tax-free holiday weekend on many school supplies, including certain electronics, such as laptops. School starts tomorrow for Seminole County (where I live and work). And, here it is eleven hours after that call and my back still hurts when I stand up or turn certain ways. I can’t miss another day of work so tomorrow I might stink of Icy Hot.

Even after speaking with my boss I continued to try to get my call out confirmation number. I didn’t want anything to come back to haunt me later and get into trouble for not following protocol.

There is an online method on Onewslmart.com. I tried it. I put in my recently changed (via personnel) user ID and assigned password. I scrolled down to the textbox where I had to change, “Home Office,” to “Store/Club.” and then put in my store number. The drop down textbox was frozen. It would not budge.

Unbelievable. The world’s largest retailer and its technology sucks.

Finally, after 4:30 pm, after 18 attempts, I got through and received my confirmation number.

Number 163251538. Oh yay!! Where is my Champagne?