Just returned from Walgreens. I didn’t completely repeat; I actually GOT my meds. I had to walk over there again today cause the tech forgot to ring my prescriptions and they never got into my bag. Eergh. They are free, so I can see how they could have been missed.

I had to get a couple of other things, too, like a spray bottle for my ammonia and water mixture to continue my pantry purge and cleaning. I had to spend five bucks on that puppy. I didn’t even notice I had no meds in the bag until around 7:30 pm. By the time I did, the pharmacy had been closed for two and a half hours. I wasn’t happy. Not even after finding that I DID have the two Ghirardelli chocolate bars I got. They were on sale for a dollar cheaper than the usual sale.

So, of course, I got two more today. I’m in the yard with Bo. His mommy just got home and he’s too caught up in sniffing stuff to notice.

He just noticed.

I’m still in my weird mood. I’m doing pantry purging and psychological purging, or at least rumination on the possibility of purging.

I guess my psyche got really stirred up by the weird concept of my ex-husband moving back to Portland last Saturday. Another emotional thing happened that same day, but he shall remain nameless. It wasn’t as traumatic as the emotional thing he dished up last January. My attitude is a lot different and I have less faith that he’s a man of action in the emotion department.

It’s sad and disappointing because I really like him. We’d have a blast together, I have no doubt. I also doubt he’s happy in his current situation, but that’s his problem. I have one word for him: counseling.

Brian being back in PDX (one of Portland’s 500 nicknames) just seems odd since that’s where we spent the majority of our marriage. It’s weird to think of him raising a pint with one of our friends at one of the many microbrews there.

It stirs up a lot of great memories of exploration and pain that our marriage ended after 14 years. We still love and care about each other, but in a more platonic way. It’s just weird.

It’s also kind of upsetting because it reminds me that I so want my life to drastically improve and I keep making three steps forward and two back, three steps forward, four back….

All I can do is keep looking and moving forward and every now and then double checking my progress.

I’m still outside. It’s getting dark. At least it’s cool. Vickie and I were just discussing things we want to do to get our home more organized. I’m sure it will be mostly she and I doing it.

On a humorous note: our neighbors have a young pitbull named, Daisy. She always wants to play with Bo. She’s about five times his size and he always ignores her until he gets the random idea to tease her by staring at her and doing a little jerk forward or maybe two. Then he wanders away to go sniff around the yard more.

I started laughing and told Vickie, “Now, I have a new nickname for him.” It’s the first name of Mr. Disappointment-the guy I mentioned in the first two paragraphs of this blog.

Yeah, that fits.