I’m in a weird mood. My mind is everywhere at once and simultaneously nowhere. Here are some things zipping through my mind.

Ugh, still working on that pantry purging and cleaning.

Will I ever get a settlement check?

Will I ever have a car again?

I want a financial miracle.

I hope I can find another copy of my State Farm Auto Insurance card.

Is that new appointment going to be covered by State Farm, or will I have to sue?

I need more protein.

I should probably talk to a tenant lawyer about the lease ending and not hearing anything from the apartment manager about a new one.

Instead of a new lease on this dump, I want the money to move into a good home.

I want a VW SUV.

What the fuck did that 20-30 second eye gaze even mean?

What did/does that man want from me?

If he wanted me why didn’t he do what he needed to do to have me?

Is he just another guy too afraid to follow through?

I know I’m sick of these types.

You’d think people who are highly educated would be more self reflective. Not so.

If he needs a shoulder to cry on, I’m here, but it has to be my left shoulder.

Crying and seeking mental health counseling are signs of strength, not weakness.

He’s confusing and confused.

Why not talk to me directly instead of making me read between the lines?

Didn’t he realize I was confused and kind of scared?

This has been two years of craziness.

Didn’t he realize he was hurting me? He claims to be compassionate. Sure wasn’t to me-over this.

My eyes are stinging and my sinuses need to be snaked.

I’m sick of Florida, “winters.”

Every Christmas here I feel like I live in Australia.

I really, really hate the new Winn Dixie ads.

Am I going to spend the rest of my life unattached to a romantic partner? Probably.

Can I really make a living as a writer or author?

I think I need to re-write the opening to my novel. Should her cat be sleeping on Lily’s head?

Should I make her musician ex-husband more comical and more of a loser type, or should I leave him as the political speech writer he currently is?

I wish I had a huge pile of money to share and live on while I write-and travel and photograph.

Should I move back to Oregon?

Should I move back to Tampa, or St. Pete?

I’d stay in the Orlando area if I met a super amazing man who, for whatever reason was anchored here, and began a relationship with him.

I miss the giant snow-capped mountains out West.

I miss great mass transit. Riding light rail was fun.

I miss the whirring sound the light rail cars make as they travel on electrical power.

I miss amazing coffee and coffeehouses.

I miss Powell’s City of Books.

I miss going to Skipper’s Smokehouse.

I miss their Key Lime Pie and gator bites and shark sandwiches.

I miss my VW Beetle. I miss its blue color.

If I have to have roommates, I like them all to want to do housework.

I miss living by myself.

I miss being married.

I want to walk in the snow again and hear it crunch under my shoes.

I miss being in love and having it returned.

I miss Chelle, Pat & Gary and Connie.

I miss traveling.

I miss the interesting conversations Brian and I used to have.

I miss hiking in Forest Park.

I miss hiking.

I miss urban hikes, too.

I miss school.

I miss doing research papers.

I miss common decency.

I miss intelligence among our populace.

I miss having a dresser.

I miss my money and not having to worry over lack of it.

I miss needing only 2-3 doctors.

I miss my 30’s.

I miss having tons of hair.

I miss my mom and dad.

I want to walk over a Portland bridge in the Fall or Winter chill.

I miss the crazy shit Pat and I did when we were roommates at USF.

I miss the crazy shit Chelle and I did when we were roommates while getting divorced.

I miss the days I had before an conscious driver rammed into the Rav 4 that rammed into me that pushed me into the Chevy Trailblazer in front of me.

The driver was shot. Why didn’t he just call 911 instead of driving himself to…where?

Must have been up to something illegal.

I miss my huge apartment next to Blanchard Park in Orlando.

God, I miss my cat; I miss all my cats.

I miss certain people who have fallen out of my life.

Will I ever have a road bike again? I miss cycling.

I miss going to the gym.

I want to be in good physical shape again; I want to be toned.

I want a normal sleeping schedule.

I wish John Bonham hadn’t died; I miss Led Zeppelin.

I wish John Entwhistle and Keith Moon hadn’t died and The Who were still making music.

I want an at home job.

I want the energy to write a real blog.

I have too many photos in my phone.

All photos shot by PM Sykes. Except of my USF graduation and me on the grass trying to do crunches, but being bugged by Brian stealing my camera.

.