I need to relax. I need to calm down. I need some rest. If I don’t I’m going to burn myself out. I can’t keep staying in bed so late.
I have to get through this. And, by, “this,” I mean ALL of this shit I’ve been dealing with, especially the shit that began in 2015.
I’ve begun to recognize that this circling the drain phase of my life really has two chapters. There is the 2007 to 2015 chapter, which ended in May of that year. Then there is the 2015 to now chapter.
I feel as though I’ve mostly slammed the door on the first chapter. But, a whole new kind of hell got dumped on me when I moved from Oviedo back to Winter Springs, the last week of May 2015.
I’m still working out the bugs on this part of my life. At least, I feel like that first chapter is done. It only dawned on me recently that I feel some closure about it.
The second chapter, whoa! That’s when I met and moved in with Princess Clueless (previously referred to as Crazy Lady in previous blogs). My friend, Pat, gave her that moniker, and it perfectly describes her.
I’m sorry I’m just rambling here. I guess I’m thinking out loud and trying to put it all in perspective.
I’ve mentioned before how I’m a big picture thinker. I have to connect the dots to make sense of things. I’m not a person who can categorize things into different boxes. That’s another thing that would give me ADHD. I honestly don’t understand how people who have that cognitive style can even dress themselves and get out their front doors.
My main mission is to let myself feel worthy of goodness and joy again because I haven’t felt joy in a very long time.
And, I know like attracts like.