Here for my plumbing exam

We are waiting in the car in the lot of The Center for Digestive Health. It’s on Mills in Orlando, not far from Loch Haven Park.

There are a few other people waiting for someone to unlock the doors. Damn, what sounded like a commercial jet just flew over, very low. It seems odd. I feel like we are not THAT close to OIA (Orlando International Airport).

My brain is very fuzzy. I can’t pull up the cognitive Orlando map in my head. Plus, my head is still pounding. Skin cancer surgery (next week) be damned. I’m taking an ibuprofen when this colonoscopy is done. Hopefully, I won’t get another killer headache between now and August 2nd. NSAIDS thin your blood, so you have to stop taking them a week before surgery.

Doors are open. Later.

Just got inside. It’s as busy as a Starbucks. Is Space Mountain at the end of this line?

6:27 am. Yeah, I knew the smoothness thus far was an illusion. I got back to the prep area and the not so nice nurse with the Pittsburgh accent asked, “So, when did you last eat or drink?” “Five am. Eight ounces of water.” With a nasty attitude,” Well, why did you do that?” Me, even snarkier response, “Well, that’s what the instructions on the CLENPIQ said, ‘stop all liquids two hours before procedure.’” “Well, I’m going to have to check to see what they want me to do.” She was a bitch.

She fetched another nurse (????) who informed me I was going to have to go wait in the waiting room for awhile. “I have pictures of the damn instructions. Would you like to see them. My instructions were to follow the instructions, which is what I did.”

This place is still fucked. I said,”Well, you need to make sure with the patients that the product instructions are not correct.”

I’m pissed. Well, we want to make sure you don’t aspirate…” I was too busy thinking, you don’t have to explain THAT to me. I can probably run circles around your cognition. Just make sure you tell people two hours is not a sufficient amount of time. My damn procedure isn’t supposed to happen until 7 am. It’s 6:39 am now. It wasn’t even 6:30 am when this snafu was illuminated.

I think this place is full of passive-aggressives.

I love how I’m waiting in the auxiliary waiting room. I should be where someone will call me.

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