I went to have my blood test for possible hypoglycemia and found out it’s the first of at least two tests. I also found out that Quest Diagnostics takes walk-ins. The woman who took my blood said, “I’d say about 85% of our patients are walk-ins. So, next time just show up. The best times are between 8:30 am and 10.” “Good to know,” I replied.

I started talking to the phlebotomist about my hypoglycemia and she said that I could be HYPER-glycemic. Hmm. I’ve read up on the differences and know both can be related to diabetes, which I don’t seem to have because my glucose levels are always normal when I go to get the garden variety blood test Dr. Lauridsen sends me on. In fact, kidney, liver, glucose, everything else comes out, “excellent.” The only two concerns my doctor had was that my thyroid seems to go up and down slightly and, “We need to keep an eye on it.” This wasn’t a surprise as years ago another doctor said it was borderline low. I’d like ALL of my hair back; do you hear me thyroid hormones?

The other thing that was high was my cholesterol. Absolutely no surprise there. I told Dr. Lauridsen, “It’s cause I like cheese with my cheese.” She’s had me on a statin for about a year now. My cholesterol has been excellent and I did cut back on cheese and red meat. I love avocados, so that helps, as long as I don’t eat too many. Too many avocados can backfire on you.

The phlebotomist said that I could be hyperglycemic. Her definition differed from what I’ve read. She said that it could be that my body breaks down glucose too quickly. That made sense cause there are times when I eat and half an hour later I’m hungry again. I’d always heard that hyper-meant too much glucose and hypo- meant too low.

That’s what today’s poking around on google backed up. In fact, I couldn’t find anything on what breaking glucose down too quickly was called. But, she said when she was pregnant she had an issue with blood sugar. It was that her body was breaking the insulin down too fast and it was called hyperglycemia.

I did find an article on WebMed, a site I’ve always found reputable, that was emphatic about hypoglycemia being related to diabetes, as in you have to have diabetes to have hypoglycemia, that or you have a tumor on your pancreas, which is rare.

Fuck that shit, I thought and went exploring more. I still found a big zero on the breaking glucose down too quickly thing. Everything I read backed up my claim. I found other sites that DID say you can have hypoglycemia and NOT have diabetes or a tumor. I think I’d know if I had a tumor cause I’ve had this issue since I was about seven. I probably would have been reincarnated as someone else by now, if it were a tumor.

I found this on Healthline, which I’m pretty sure has not steered me wrong on any health issues yet. I got a lot of info on knee replacements from them before I had mine done and it was right on.

That would be, yes, yes, yep, you betcha, ditto, yep, uh huh, si and oui, as answers to those questions.

I guess I am going to have to wait and find out what the blood test says.

I have eaten. My roomie made us bagels topped with fried eggs. I like scrambled. She doesn’t, but I couldn’t wait any longer to eat. I hadn’t even had coffee. I had just a couple of Ghirardelli chocolate squares.

I’m happy to report I caused no bloodshed before the writing of this blog. I cussed a lot, though.

Then again, that’s different, how?

I’m blaming decades of restaurant and coffeehouse work.