I blame the winning Fantasy 5 ticket I wanted to cash in.
True, I could have gone elsewhere but, but that’s kind of a lucky lottery spot for me. I also needed to get some cosmetics.
I know, people who know me in the real world do not equate me with cosmetics. That’s sort of my goal. I like to maintain my my quasi-hippie persona. I used lots of cosmetics in the 1980’s. I used to have fun painting up my eyelids. I had the this dark plum colored eyeliner that made my green eyes look mucho green. I loved using that pencil. But, It’s not the 80’s anymore and, I so do not miss shoulder pads one teensy little bit. Or mullets.
I don’t normally indulge in conspiracy theories. They are best left to Mulder and Scully. But, I guess they are past tense. I loved that show: The X-files.
Yet, I am pretty damn convinced that cosmetics companies are in cahoots to make sure that multiple necessary products simultaneously run out so that one has to plunk down a small fortune to doll up. I still swear that if more men used cosmetics they would cost a buck-fifty each, tops.
I needed loose face powder, under eye concealer and mascara. The Maybeline versions run about $25 together. Luckily, Publix had a coupon for $2.50 on any Maybeline product. I checked with a front office cashier and she told me that I was allowed to use all three if I got three products.
Pretty much Publix lacks a staff of Coupon Police. Not so at Walmart. As a cashier, if a cashier broke the rules it was likely to get flagged and the cashier would get, “coached.” Yeah, workplace jargon is so grand.
Once I got my makeup I realized I needed some powerful lotion for my dry elbows. Me, with dry skin? I’ve never had dry skin anywhere on my body my whole life-with the exception of heels. But, I’ve worked on my feet since I was 18 so, they deserve a little dryness.
I find the dry elbows annoying. My mom used to tell me, when I was a teenager and suffering from cystic acne (talk about a self esteem blower), that when I was 60 I would be happy that I had oily skin. She was right. I have a severe lack of wrinkles. I’m lucky. I’ve seen 40 year olds with many more facial creases than I have.
I perused the lotion section and didn’t find anything for dry elbows. I ended up in the infant section getting petroleum jelly (I use it on my heels) and baby oil.
Question: how many babies have to get squeezed to produce a 12 ounce bottle of baby oil? Asking for a friend.
I rolled into Vitamin World and remembered I wanted to get a bottle of multi-vitamins. The other day I checked at Sprouts and even with my 10% discount, the price is about equal to the mortgage on a tiny house in the Pacific Northwest. Stuff is spendy there.
I plucked a bottle of Publix brand multis for old farts off the shelf and tossed them into my cart. Three hundred pills for $12.99. I take them every other day. I really don’t think it’s necessary to take them every day as long as I’m not eating a diet of complete junk.
Then, I remembered I had salad fixings at home and wanted to add some pickled beets. I would do Chelle so proud. She’s an excellent friend who loathes beets. I forgive her because I think she’s not thrilled with ketchup. Plus, that she hates beets leaves more for me.
By the way, I swear Sprouts sells more beets than I’ve seen in my entire life. They are fun to bag; they look like shrubs trying to escape a grocery bag.
My stroll to Canned Vegetable World took me past the BOGO Activia yogurt. Probiotics-I need to consume more. I grabbed a four pack of peach and one of cherry.
I turned down the canned veggie aisle and, what do we have here? Peruvian olives? Hmm, they don’t look pitted but, I don’t see any other jars of such delectable little black edible orbs. I’ d never heard of Peruvian olives but, I’ve never met an olive I don’t like so, I snatched them off the shelf.
I rolled down to my beet choices and picked out a jar of whole pickled Aunt Nellie’s beets.
Then I headed straight to the checkout without even walking by the chocolate aisle.
I know, I seriously cannot believe it, myself.