NOTE: this was written on 5/5 and not published until after Midnight on Thursday.

Rose (for the purposes of my blogs) and I barely had any sleep last night. She took me to and from my procedure at Winnie Palmer Hospital. She actually got up before I did. I could eat or drink and, God knows I didn’t need under-eye concealer or face powder or mascara-that’s the extent of my daily makeup applications. It’s a very far cry from the 1980’s when I relished in the art of doing it.

It’s funny how as you get older, you just don’t give a rat’s ass what other people think. At least, the strongest of us feel that way. If you are doing it for the joy and yourself, you are also in the class of psychologically strong people.

Having surgery meant I didn’t need to eat or drink. I just dressed in baggy clothes, sans bra. I let my girls roam free and put on shoes. I packed up my CPAP machine and a small bottle of purified water. When I had my knee surgery at AdventHealth, they supplied the water. I even got to keep the remainder of the bottle. I ended up not even using the CPAP machine. The actual procedure was only going to take about twenty minutes. I was told to bring it just in case. They did give me a general anesthesia. That doctor had about zero personality. I guess he picked the right specialty; there isn’t too much interaction you can share with a sleeping person.

It took about 40 minutes to get there. At that time of day the traffic was light. I did my initial check-in at the desk on the first floor before going up to the fourth floor where, Little Throcky met his demise. Yay!

We both took naps when we got home after our chow at IHOP (maybe, I should get stock in that company) I finally left my room at 7 pm. Dinner’s late. And, I’m craving the taste of coffee. I didn’t have satisfying coffee. IHOP’s is mostly utilitarian. Rose and I make great coffee. Of course, I taught her a few things. Lol.

Yeah, I’m hungry. We just started eating and we got eye candy on the tube: “SWAT,” starring Jay Harrington and Shemar Moore. Be still my beating, err, you know, certain bodily parts.

I’m done eating. I’m pretty full. I’m having a half cup of decaf and letting my food settle.

Rose just asked me, “How’s the pain, how sore are you?” “Almost nothing; almost no soreness at all.” “That’s fantastic,” she replied. I was thinking, yes, it is, thank you God! Then, I said, “I still could get sore tomorrow. It might be like going to the gym; your muscles feel pain a day later.” Rose said, “True.”

Moreover, I am glad I have off tomorrow, cause I might just be sore. Currently, I am astounded by the lack of pain. I feel a slight bloating in my uterus area. It has made me realize just how much discomfort and agony I have had since December. It was slight then and, I know, at that point, I attributed it to whatever was happening in my colon. I’d known since August that my Cologuard test was positive. It took that long to get this worked on.

I had that insurance cancellation in October (btw, I’m still waiting on the tax refund I was going to use to get caught up on my premiums. I filed by the extended deadline in July 2020), which led to my immediate mental breakdown, which led to the immediate reinstatement, which led to waiting till January 2021 to finally see a gastroenterologist ARNP, which led to having to wait till March to get the colonoscopy done. They were that backed up. Pun definitely intended.

This all led to wondering if the pain was diverticulitis. That led to leaving work early on a February ER trip, which led to the knowledge that my colon had, at least, no huge masses. The CT scan cannot, however, detect polyps. This knowledge led to something else I suspected: it could be a female organ problem. That led to learning I had TWO female organ problems.

This was A LOT of stuff to deal with. A singular issue can give a focused energy to overcome it. I was left having to scatter my energy and divide my focus. It definitely increased my stress. I had to endure at least three incidents of, “getting medical results.” In reality it’s been many more incidents.

For example, this morning I learned that I will be put on pins and needles again awaiting the results of biopsies of the matter removed from my uterus today. My initial hysteroscopy results were benign so, I’m not terrified but, I can’t completely relax, either. I will hear those results on May 11th at 2:00 pm.

Thinking about all this makes me realize what I have been dealing with since December. I now know that literally every single day since about the second week of December I have have been in a state of discomfort which graduated to different degrees of agony until today. I have worked every shift in a degree of agony. I called out once and left early to go to the ER. That’s when I wondered about the diverticulitis. The colonoscopy also made me miss a shift when I learned of the extra day on a liquid diet. I would have fainted from hypoglycemia. So, I had to call out for my shift before the procedure. Then there was the very rainy day that I gave me a horrible allergy attack that completely mimicked a sinus infection.

I hope I am returning to a state in which my health issues will not be a pain in the ass for me or my job.

I’m sitting in my living room writing this on my iPhone, glancing at the muted sports part of the late news and feeling absolutely amazed and relieved that I barely know I have a uterus. No Little Throcky is in there poking me with his tools of torture.

I hope I’m not speaking too soon. With everything that’s been happening, I can’t completely relax. I’m still not out of the woods with the colon issue. My polyps were large so, I will be getting a camera stuck up by butt in July. Yay! And, tonight starts the first week of applying the cream to my pre-cancerous vulva twice a week. I hate doing it. I just don’t trust that I’m getting all the right spots.

Today, however, was a huge step forward and I am so freaking grateful I have health insurance. I will probably pay for the rest of the year’s premiums with some of my stimulus money. I seriously would rather be homeless than have no access to healthcare. THAT makes me feel more hopeless than does the thought of living in a box and pushing my belongings in a stolen Publix shopping cart.

I will say it again: HEALTHCARE IS A RIGHT NOT A PRIVILEGE. We need universal healthcare!!!

I can’t even imagine how horrifying it is to face scary diseases not having the slightest clue as to how to begin fighting them. NO ONE SHOULD EVER HAVE TO ENDURE THAT! Ever! Ever! Ever! And, I would willingly pay higher taxes to ensure everyone had insurance.

Thus, I know I’m very lucky. I am grateful.

Well, I think I’m ready to eat some chocolate.