I needed a desk lamp to help me apply cream to, um, my pre-cancerous girlie area. I can’t frigging see what the docs say, “You can see it.” Bull pucky.

Anyhoo, Walmart is the obvious choice for a cheap desk lamp. The one I got was under seven bucks. It will probably fall apart in a couple of months cause, you know, Wally World sells cheap crap. That’s why the line at customer service is almost always a mile long.

Walmart, it turned out, was evil. I went in there for the lamp and chicken gravy.

Since I was in the Land O’ Cheap Crap, I decided to get some back ups of things I used to get there with my employee discount. I got decongestant, Equate’s version of Tums, toothpaste, mouthwash and, ya know, I really need a new pair of work shoes. I’ve had pretty good luck getting my work shoes there. So, I splurged on some for $18 that have thick soles. Constant standing isn’t fun some days.

Thanks to my buddy, Connie, who I’ve known since about 1986, I got sucked into Melty Wax World looking for something that smelled like magnolias. The closet I got was honeysuckle.

Connie and I met at Peoples Restaurant, on Busch Blvd, in Tampa, where we were servers. Boy, we could tell y’all some stories about that place.

She also moved out to Portland with me and Brian in 1992. She moved back to Florida after two years, though. We also knew each other from USF and the Mass Comm department.

I was poking around on Facebook just before I entered the store and saw she’d posted pics of magnolias and a story about magnolia loving bees. I left comments about how Pat and I used to pick the blossoms off the trees surrounding the Fine Arts building. We’d float them in bowls of water in our apartment. They smelled divine.

Thus, the memory of that smell was drifting through my brain and olfactory sense organs but, I had to settle for honeysuckle. Oh well.

I guess it was my plan B.

Speaking of plan B, that’s what I might have been to someone recently.

I guess he doesn’t know me too well. I don’t settle for being anyone’s plan B.

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

UPDATE: 11:09 pm

The desk lamp made all the difference. I got the cream where it was supposed to go. Thank God.🙏🏻