I’m wound up but, exhausted. I loathe this feeling.
I experienced what I think will be a blessing in disguise. I’ve been under someone’s spell for far too long. It was an attraction to a man I had stuffed into a closet and nailed shut. Then, one day he stared silently into my green peepers for at least 20 seconds and in doing so, ripped off that closet door. And, my reaction made him happy as hell.
I wish I could divulge more but, he is in a sensitive profession and is very good at what he does. I care enough to not fuck that up for him or the people he helps.
But, I’m stuck with my fury over realizing how horribly he handled whatever the fuck it was between us. It crashed and burned when I learned he wasn’t as separated from his wife as I thought.
Now, I know what an immature human being he is. So, the spell is breaking.
I just need to unwind.
I am grateful that this experience is supplying me with seemingly endless fiction and bumper sticker ideas.
Yes, I want to have a sticker biz. I have been researching companies that make Earth-friendly stickers. There are more than you’d think. I’m checking into getting a supply of bumper stickers with, perhaps, one humorous message and see how they sell.
I’m a writer with a twisted sense of humor. I have pages of ideas.
I just need to stay focused on what I want and need and keep Doofus Man out of my head,
Message to all separated people whose marriages are on the skids: please don’t rope innocent, potential new lovers into your soap operas unless you plan to go the distance. Speak clearly and not in between the lines. Realize the potential new paramour might be confused and scared too. And, for God’s sakes, be sure that’s what you want because my money is on you being too scared to leave what you are unhappy with because that hell is more familiar than the new situation that could be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Oh, and SEE A SHRINK.