Another episode of random thoughts

My second mini-rose blossom.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I really don’t feel like writing. It’s been going on for about a month. I guess I just feel a little discouraged, maybe. But, that doesn’t sound right.

This blog site is for practice writing, a lot of the time. I aim to bring it up to more seriously professional standards, but…

Today, I have a good reason to be bummed. A man I’m interested in did something hurtful that played out on Facebook today. I think he was reacting in an hypersensitive manner to something nice I did for my attorney. God, it’s complicated. Suffice it to say, that he initiated interest in me—in a very surprising way, and under odd circumstances. He knows he has to do certain things in his life to enable an intimate relationship to grow between us, and I have no doubt that it would be awesome and I would want that. But, he has to come to me and talk to me and tell me what he wants. I left the ball in his court last JUNE, in a card I mailed to him. Since then I only get indirect messages that he’s doing that. Then I get hit with evidence he’s not and is staying where he is. Then it goes back to the indirect messages he IS doing what he needs to do.

Yeah, I should have gotten over it all a long time ago. He’s hard to get over. My intuition keeps telling me he’s worth the hassle. I just try to strike a happy medium of keeping it all on the back burner and staying focused on the things I need to immediately address, such as my still messed up rotator cuff, my unhappy domestic situation, my lack of a car, my wanting an at home job, including starting a couple of online businesses.

I do have some good news. I received my tax refund and splurged on two books at Powell’ One is an Elizabeth George novel I actually haven’t read—it just came out in February. I’m not rich, so I try to buy novels in their used condition. George’s used copies are so hard to find. I have literally been trying for at least a year and a half to obtain one. I’ve read all her books except the most recent ones. I think that number is three. She’s such an excellent story teller.

I also ordered a book on starting an at home candle making business. That was used, too. I miss perusing the stacks at Powell’s City of Books. It’s such a unique, amazing place.

The best news is that I have a settlement check on the way and as soon as that check drops into my bank account, I will officially end my Go Fund Me campaign with one final update thanking all my donors. The amount turned out to be more than double what I thought I would end up with, and my attorney got permission from his boss to give me a discount. I’m just so happy to end this hell.

It’s not enough money to get a brand new car outright, but it’s enough to make about a 70% down payment with financing the rest. There are things I have to work out, such as securing enough work hours to pay for more expensive full coverage auto insurance, a monthly car payment, and money to restart my auto registration.

Well, BLT’s are under construction in the kitchen. It’s time for Bo and I to go back inside.

I have one thing to fix on an old blog post from two years ago. I think Mr. Hypersensitive might have been looking for it.

Edit in: I got to thinking that many of you might be big time readers. Portland, Oregon has one of the best bookstores in the world. It’s independent, meaning it’s only chained to itself; there are a couple of satellite stores in Portland metro. What that means is they sell used books right next to brand new ones. It also means they have extremely knowledgeable employees you can speak with to help you find a book, even if you live in Miami.

So, here’s the link to their online store and a screenshot with a pic of the main store on W. Burnside. It book volume rivals that of the Harvard libraries. People fly from Australia just to visit Powell’s. I ain’t lying. I worked in the Coffee Room, and met many of them.

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