Purging and packing isn’t just about things

Purging can be applied to situations and people.

I’m still watching out for the road signs.

I’m also in the mood to purge a few of those out of my life. I turned 61 this February. Almost everyone I meet is kind of stunned by that fact. I’m pretty lucky to not look my age. I could pass for ten years younger and some have said I look even younger. I know I don’t act my age; I’m not stuck in an era. I embrace change, evolution and progression. I joke that my spiritual animal is a juvenile delinquent.

My point is that I could have only a short while left on this planet. I am trying to stay as healthy as I can. One way I aim to do this is via purging toxicity out of my life. While I still have energy and spunk, I’m making improvements.

I’m in a situation with someone I know who could be totally playing with my heart and mind by being very flirtatious. I’m not giving any details. If this guy is reading this he’s smart enough to recognize himself. I like him a lot. He’s extremely interesting, intelligent, ambitious and adorable.

I don’t know how serious I should take his flirts. There are enough subtle nuances to indicate that he’s not playing, but possibly scared to take the steps necessary to make the drastic changes in his life that will allow a relationship between us blossom.

I, honestly, cannot see him as an egotistical scumbag. Does that make how he flirts with me sincere? I just don’t know what to think. He does not seem the type of person to engage in meaningless behavior of any kind. But, it’s still up to him; I gave him an instruction manual. If he wants to be closer he knows what he has to do.

I’m not going to wait around but, I’m not actively looking for a love partner. One usually drops into my lap when I’m not looking. The same thing happens to me with money. It’s weird.

It would be great if something does bloom there. He could even be the kind of guy worth staying in Florida for.

I’m not doing the hanging on thing. Not unless I hear an explanation. I’m in a purging mood. I really, really am drawn to this man-very powerfully, but I won’t play the silly, “I’m only flirting because I crave excitement,” game.

I hit the ball back in his court, telling him what he needs to do if he wants that. He knows my number, my address and where I work. It’s up to him. By the way, I LOVE ROSES. Lol. Because I’m not getting sucked into last year’s confusion; it could become toxic. I don’t see HIM as toxic, but he could let the situation turn that way.

If he’s seriously interested all he would have to say is, “Hey, can we talk? Will you let me explain what is going on and tell you how I feel?” Hey, Highly Educated Doofus Man, I’m an excellent listener. If you are playing, stop it! Please talk to me.

Cause, guess what, I’m not sitting around pining for anyone no matter how fricking appealing you are. If you don’t think I’m worth taking a chance on, well, it’s your loss. If you are not happy with your current situation and you want out, get out. It’s not fair to anyone, especially not the person you are staying with.

I guess I’m done ranting there. God knows I stayed up way too late debating this situation via Messenger until 5 am. That was too long a debate. I’m distancing myself because if I don’t I will be enabling the toxicity that could grow. I prefer flowers and beautiful plants to bloom not something more akin to red tide. I grew up on Florida’s West Coast, I know how red tide smells; it ain’t pretty.

Another situation that has grown toxic is my domestic situation. I loathe my home and, yet, I’d rather be here than at work. WHAT does that say?

I want out. Now, or as soon as possible. I’m taking physical action to tell The Universe that I am ready to make creative changes and I want all the resources I want and need.

I deserve that. I deserve my own clean, safe, pest-free home, in a good neighborhood near the places I will be spending time and energy-like school. I also deserve a good, sweet, kind, adorable, intelligent, funny, compassionate, honest man who talks to me, directly.

The things and people who are pulling me down are getting packed up and sent away. At this point I care not where they end up. It’s time to take care of me.

I’m aiming for the blue hole.

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