NOTE: this is raw and needs editing. It’s meant to be an example of the messy process of creation.

Not because I’m greedy, if I was independently wealthy, I would give away so much money, it would’ve ridiculous. I believe in sharing. Except for my men.

I don’t like to share men. In fact, I’m not really good at dating multiple people simultaneously. Each guy would have to be on the shallow end of, “type of connection.” Most likely, they’d be guys I date while I wait for something deeper. But, as usual, I digress.

I need to be wealthy mostly because my untethered curiosity makes me distractible. I’m not a psychology professor right now because Oregon distracted me from my loosely constructed graduate school plan.

Distraction eats up time. When you have to work, you have less time. I want time to let my curiosity meander the fields of knowledge. I want to be able to poke around and look under rocks for interesting things to write about or photograph.

Oh poppy, I don’t know where I want this to go.

Ok, I’m going to publish this as an example of how the creative process works…or doesn’t.

I’m feeling too much pressure to work on my student loan issue when all I really want to do is write, write, write, write, photograph, photograph, travel and write some more. If I’m lucky, I’ll have a significant other to share experiences with but……

There’s no time to deal with Navient, writing, still get sleep and go to work tomorrow. And, tomorrow commences six consecutive days of work. All my shifts are 8:30-3, or 3:30. Sunday morning I’m picking up the same co-working I drove home yesterday.

I do really need to do the responsible thing and get on the Navient website.

🌈💀🌈💀🌈💀🌈💀🌈💀🌈💀🌈

My fantasy day starts at about 9:00 am. I eat, get in a work out, go for a long bike ride go home, quick shower, maybe have a snack and then, get into my writing studio and write for hours or do the research and other tasks related to writing such as, interviewing sources for whatever I’m writing on. This could also include driving out to places I want to do articles or blogs on. One such place is Lukas Nursery in Oviedo. It’s a very unique place to buy plants and gardening supplies. They have a cool butterfly garden.

Another unique place I’d love to write about is in Tampa: my favorite ex-employer. Skipper’s Smokehouse is legendary, not just locally but, even, globally. Last September it closed down and it looked as if all was done in Smokehouse World. Today, I learned it is going to never-opening. Trust me when I say this: legions of fans will be ecstatic. I absolutely treasure the memories I have of six years of working there. I only left because I got married and moved to Oregon.

Those are just two examples of things I want to write about, on a more journalistic level.

It took me into my 30’s to figure out that I wanted to be a writer. It took another ten years to start to take it seriously and then another stretch of time to start writing regularly on a public forum.

It’s hard to be an artist. Our crafts are not financially rewarded in the same way as in the business, legal, academic, medical or, upper reaches of retail world.

That’s why my friend, Pat, is a talented artist who is a hairstylist so she has a living. It’s why she gets to do some art via commission from clients wanting pet portraits. This why her artist husband has a bumpy time getting photography gigs. My ex-husband, Brian, is in the same situation as Gary, Pat’s husband.

I know this rambles and goes in many different directions simultaneously. I guess, I want to share how artistic endeavors happen. They are not linear processes. Sometimes the most organized plan we can formulate is: beginning, middle, ending/conclusion.

Oh fun. Student loan hurdle ahead.