Four hours of sleep…

….I was too infuriated to go to sleep last night. Also, I think I had a food hangover from the IHOP chow I’d eaten earlier.

I awoke at 7:30 am and couldn’t return to slumber. Ruminations kept me awake. I kept returning to the thought that I’d been wronged by a well respected professional; he was a asshole to me. It’s infuriating because he’s very good in his profession and in a sense he gave me my life back.

But, he also sucked out that life with frivolous flirtations that kept my head spinning because I kept trying to figure out if they were real. They were. Apparently, I realized that too late because he’d reunited with his spouse.

But, was it too late? Probably not. His behavior was immature and unfair and I deserve so much better. So much better. Thus, I also feel a freedom I haven’t felt in over a year and I gained a whole new collection of writing ideas.

I’m still infuriated by the fact that the most romantic connection made to me by a man was bestowed upon me by someone who might be excellent in his profession but, who knows little about conducting himself in budding romantic relationships-and he probably sucks at maintaining those relationships.

His spouse can have him. I’m done.

So, I guess I’m back at the source of that feeling of freedom. I don’t have to try and read between the lines anymore. God, that’s exhausting. I don’t have to care. And, I don’t.

I’m wiped out, yet energized. And, I’m finally hungry-for food.

I’m going downstairs for coffee.

Going to have coffee and think some more about moving back to Tampa.

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