It’s probably a good state to be in given my fear of what news my OBGYN is going to give me tomorrow.

Thus, if this blog veers off into multiple simultaneous directions, just know that it’s a function of lack of sleep.

Lack of sleep on a Monday night sucks because two of my favorite shows, “FBI,” and, “FBI: Most Wanted,” are on and I will probably konk out.

I already did konk out momentarily and was snapped awake by a little dream in which I was waiting in the exam room at my orthopedic’s office and he popped in wearing a Robert Plant wig. THAT would be hilarious. I’d probably laugh so hard I’d fall out of my chair. It would be even more hilarious on my dermatologist because he has that classic geek look. It’s easy to imagine him as an engineer sporting a pocket protector. However, I happen to know his undergrad degree is in psychology

I’m so exhausted I didn’t want to cook. Thankfully, Rose, my roommate had leftover Marco’s Pizza. Of all the chains, I think they make the best pizza. I love the white pizza. It has feta and bacon on it.

£££££££££££

Yes, I would like some British pounds.

I took a shower break and found a new bruise. Yay! It’s on my left leg. I had to have done it at work. Who knows? I’m a banana 🍌.

I’m parked in front of the TV. “FBI,” is on. It’s a repeat. Dern. I know it’s kind of surprising that this liberal hippie-ish chick likes entertainment that revolves around somewhat conservative governmental entities that have rigid rules but, it’s the murder and mayhem and solving the puzzle that intrigues me.

Also, while I am well aware that there is systemic ugliness within police agencies, I do have faith that there are more good people than bad and that somehow the good side will win.

Yes, I would March with the BLM movement because their concerns are legitimate.

I digress. I’m too slap happy to put forth a real essay on why I support drastic overhaul of our criminal justice system.

Work is kind of a rollercoaster: one shift I’m beginning to feel comfortable and the next I feel as though I’m constantly being judged.

I want to work for myself. I want to have a studio. I want a huge artistic combo room that’s part library and writing nook, and dedicated to craft making and photoshopping too. I want to earn a living working in that studio.

I am drawn to the converted loft or barn lifestyle. I either have to be in the big city or the sticks. Suburbia is soooo….neutral. I don’t like neutral. Just make a decision. Yeah, I know. It’s sounds too black and white without any gray. I’m always the first one to point out the fallacies inherent in black and white thinking. I’m a contradiction. But, I’m a medicated contradiction. I think I get brownie points for that; I’d rather just have the brownies. They sound tastier.

Getting back to my current work situation: I am grateful to be employed but, I seriously have to figure out how to get into that studio.

At least Sprouts did give us all a reward. We had Employee Appreciation Week. We all got little gift bowls of candy and $5 gift cards. Plus, Saturday our discount was increased from 15 to 20 percent. I wasn’t working. I was trying to get my car’s oil changed.

Yesterday management gave me a star card worth $5 for working later than scheduled. I used the gift card last night and spent the star card on lunch today.

I am nervous about tomorrow but, I think I’m exhausted enough to actually sleep tonight.

I just want to find out what I’m dealing with and face it, fight it and kill it. Then, I want to get my life back-my money, my independence, my peace of mind, my life path.

Sorry for the lame ending. I just ran out of steam thinking about the CPAP parts I still have to wash.

😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴