I’m going to try to make this brief. I’ve wanted to write, but I’ve been depressed and exhausted by the orange monster, known as trump.

I’m not paying as much attention to the news as I was during his first installment, but I’m still exhausted, and trying not to be terrified.

My gut tells me he is finally, really on the cusp of getting what he deserves. The turn out for the No Kings protests was phenomenal. I was supposed to be there. I even requested the day off and bought my sign materials. However, that whole week I was having huge sinus headaches, sneezing fits almost daily. These were not completely productive sneezes; sinus gunk would move out, but not as much as was needed. I fear that it’s retreated to the highest sinus spaces that are behind the forehead.

I awoke on the 14th feeling like I was hit by a train. I was sore all over and my whole head was throbbing. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to stand the Florida heat and humidity, plus I failed to buy a big sun hat. I’ve already had three skin cancer lesions cut out; I did not need expose my skin to sun that ten years from now would result in more skin cancer.

I’m going to be ready for the next protest. I’m going to get a hat. I do have sunscreen.

Tonight my whole head is still throbbing. My sneezing fits are still not productive, but I don’t think this is an infection. My glands are not swollen—the right one always is slightly because that’s the side of my sinuses that get the most plugged because of my deviated septum that leans right. Also, there is no colorful gunk or blood coming out when I sneeze, or blow my nose.

Still, I’m going to call my ENT and see if he takes my version of Aetna Medicare Advantage.

I’m not thrilled with Medicare. It costs more than and covers less than Florida Blue did, and for the first time in 8 years I have a deductible. Florida Blue was better, and it was an HMO, not a PPO. Go figure.

I still need to get the alternator for my Nissan Rogue. It’s been parked in front of my apartment since Christmas Eve. I’ve been driving my roommate’s Honda CR-V since. Rose spends most of her life in AdventHealth Hospital these days (she’s there now) and does not work. If we want to stay housed, she NEEDS to let me use her car.

She finally got disability in April, so she began paying her part of the rent then. I’m still paying all the electricity and water. This, it’s only recently that I’ve gathered the money to buy the alternator online. Rose is giving me $350 toward the repair. My mechanic will come to my house to install it. Yes, I’m grateful and lucky!

The alternator I had my eye on, that Andrew, my mechanic, approved of was $178 back in January-March. Now, the trump tariffs jacked the price up to $250, and it is out of stock. If I didn’t have to pay all the rent, electricity , and water, I could have had my car running by now.

When I do get it fixed I’ll be in a spot to start improving my life. I’ll be walking dogs and cat sitting and depending less on my Sprouts job. And, I’ll be changing my availability so I’m not working later than 6pm. I’m sick of fucked up hours. I’m sick of my employer holding my time hostage. Working retail has more brutally messed up my sleep schedule than 33 years of working in restaurants and coffee houses.

After months of working mid-shifts, or 8,9 till 4pm, I have to work 7:45 am to 4:30 pm tomorrow. On Saturday I’m closing again. I’m glad the shifts are not reversed. That’s called a clopen, as in closing and opening the next day. Retail does not care about your health.

As soon as I can drive my own car I’m going to make some significant changes. Making life changes in the piecemeal way I’ve been doing it has not accomplished anything.

I have to wrap this up because it’s going on 10:30 and I have to get up at 6 am.

I’m still here fighting being stuck and trying to crawl out of the abyss. I hope you all are well.

Later.