I don’t have a choice. I have no sick time left. I never worked at place where the sick time accrued so slowly. My co-workers agree.

I’m sick of dealing with, and talking about the damn sinus situation. I hope Monday, or Tuesday I will hear that my referral requests reached my primary care physician. I need to get a second opinion on what’s going on in my sinuses. I’m also going to ask if it’s possible that I’m getting reinfected by by my CPAP machine.

I wash the parts—hose, water tank, hose nozzle, mask, water tank gasket religiously—every single day. Also, I keep spare parts, number them with a black Sharpie and then recycle them after about three to six months. What never gets cleaned, or sanitized are the guts of the actual machine. I don’t have $300 for one of those fancy contraptions that sanitizes everything. I called once cause the company that makes them advertised a free month trial. Haaaa, that was a damn joke. The deal was, I had to pay the $300, and after a month, if I didn’t like it, I could return it and they’d refund the money. I spoke some colorful words and phrases to the woman who took my call.

So, my idea is, since I’m overdue for a new machine, I’m hoping the new ENT could send a notice to my primary that the machine could be a source of infection and then have her authorize a new CPAP machine.

I tried to get one in 2021, but the third party administrator that Florida Blue uses was a pain in the ass to deal with and I was already dealing with auto accident issues: broken shoulder and torn rotator cuff; two D &C’s, a couple of cancer scares: vulva, uterus, skin, and colon. Only the skin had the cancer. So, this CPAP issue was not too high on the list.

Today I worked shift number five of seven consecutive shifts. I was miserable. My head has been pounding all day. I work a mask, as I have for the last two weeks, since I’ve suspected that the colorful gunk coming out of my nostrils is not due to allergies.

I just want to be well.

I want to get the ball rolling on getting my right knee replaced. I had the left one done in December 2019. I had an excellent surgeon, who is a great doctor, but I’m asking to have one of his two partners be my surgeon this time. I won’t get into why here. Just know it’s for the best—psychologically. I love him to death but…..not explaining it all here. He should know why.

Currently, I am about to take my shower. I got home from work a little before 8 pm. It’s now 9:30 pm EDT. I still have to eat, and wash my CPAP parts—sometimes I do postpone a wash job till the next day, and wash two sets that day. I might do that tonight because I have to get up at another 6:30-7 am. I’m so tired right now.

If I feel totally shitty, I’ll try to come home early, since I’ll be cashing in right of my nine vacation hours. Those hours accrue at a slightly less slow pace. I don’t want to call out and leave my head cashier in a lurch early in the morning. She works from seven to nine by herself.

I need to feel the relaxing hot water all over me. It’s weird how I hate the hot weather, but love hot showers and baths.

Yeah, to try to unwind. I just remembered I needed to take my nighttime dose of happy pills.