I will happily, joyfully take this stuffed head sinus pain any day over that damn polyp pain. I would happily take my post knee surgery pain and purple-green-brown bruised football-sized swollen left foot again over that polyp pain. At least the knee surgery pain was a clue that healing was happening. An end to it was in sight.
The polyp pain, not so much. I was even unconvinced the D&C surgery I had yesterday morning at 7 would erase it.
I sit here in disbelief; still slightly suspicious that the pain is gone. My lower left back pain is gone too. But, I won’t let my guard down just yet.
I slept late and am heating up leftovers for my err, lunchfast. “Brunch,” is so overused. Coffee is brewing too and I ate two chocolate covered espresso beans. Espresso beans and coffee beans are the exact same thing. Espresso does not exist until it is brewed properly under steamy pressure. I guess espresso likes humidity. We don’t have that in common.
I think my next doctor’s visit is with my Motley Crue loving orthopedist. He’s a trip. I’ve said this before: all surgeons are a little nuts and they have that in common with commercial airline pilots and cats. I suppose it makes them endearing-the being nuts part.
I know concerning cats, I love that they are nuts. It’s so entertaining. I especially enjoy watching them chase invisible things.
Airline pilots? Well, can you imagine the mindset you need to maneuver a gigantic metal tube that is carrying possibly multiple hundreds of humans through the sky? I guess astronauts need kind of the same mindset but, I won’t go there; I’d actually be willing to be an astronaut. It’s research. I love research of all kinds unless it involves bodily goo.
Surgeons don’t mind goo. Hence, they are nuts. Come to think of it, cats don’t seem to mind goo either. See, I KNEW there was a connection.
I am finally chowing on leftovers and am on my second mug of java. Ooh, I just mistyped, “java,” as, “lava,” and it gave me a new name for the cafe in Portland where my protagonist, Lily, works. I like it: Lava Java. It reflects where most coffee is grown: around equatorial volcanoes 🌋.
I need to get back to working on that novel. It’s very Lit-inspired and soul searching. So, writing it can be exhausting but, it’s a good exhausting and sometimes transformational.
I love transformations. This is why I cannot exist on a shallow plane. I’m not inclined to fake niceties or putting on airs or trying to make my life look happier than it is. I know you Facebook people know what I mean. I know you’ve run across those boring profiles full of happy family scenes and there is no real hint of pain, sickness or loss, or even euphoria, B O R I N G. I just cannot live there. That keeps me from connecting to people. Life can suck. It can also be euphoric or plain happy. But, it ain’t always; don’t try to tell me it’s always wonderful.
I just try to stay positive and know that the hell has to end eventually. Having a twisted sense of humor helps.
The rain has ended. I think more is coming. I just finished eating. I have to go wash my soaking CPAP machine parts. I really want that sleep apnea chip put inside me. I’d take THAT over another polyp inside me any day.
After the CPAP parts bathing I’m headed to Tara’s (yes, her real name) to give her a backlog of car payments. She’s a frigging angel.